


Careless Whisper

by nataliaromanovas



Category: George Michael (Musician), Political RPF - UK 20th-21st c., ed Miliband - Fandom
Genre: Domestic Fluff, M/M, bacon sandwich kink, john is norty, lovers to even better lovers, nic cage but not really nic cage, scientology, the love is just a film but it is still love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 15:15:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8451406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nataliaromanovas/pseuds/nataliaromanovas
Summary: Join Ed and George on their journey of love.





	

"Oh Ed Miliband, thank you so much for seeing me on such short notice" George Michael whispered carelessly. "I hope you know I don't do this with just any other guy...... and if you ask me how I'm feeling.... I've got to make you understand....." George trailed off.  
Ed reached out and grabbed Georges sensual hands, noticing the lingering scent of mango hand cream from The Body Shop©. "Oh George, I'm never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna tell a lie, never gonna say goodbye and hurt you". He kissed George tenderly on the lips as a tear rolled down his face, he was so happy in this moment that Ed hardly knew what to do.

George knew after 3 hours and 49 minutes of sensual steamy sexy times to Careless Whisper on repeat that things could never get any better than this. When he was with Ed his guilty feet DID have rhythm, he knew he would never kiss a fool again if only he listened to the call of his heart..... he must secure eternity together with his spicy hot former labour leader lover boy.... 

George reached under the pillow of their twin sized bed and pulled out a bacon sandwich. Ed's eyes lit up at the sight of his favourite snack, but this quickly turned to a look of confusion as George got down on one knee....... he handed the sandwich to Ed and.....  
Ed began to eat the sandwich most excitedly! George knew how to get the perfect balance between butter and tomato ketchup, which is one of the reasons why they began dating in the first place. Just as Ed was devouring the sandwich in his post coital hunger, he felt something crunchy. Ed was upset for usually George's sandwiches are perfect, how did this slip through quality control? Discreetly, Ed spat the foreign object into his hand and inspected it....... it was...... A DIAMOND RING!

Ed looked up at George with tears of joy streaming down his face. A banner that read "Edward Samuel Miliband, Will You Marry Me?" in red glitter pen (red glitter pen was Ed's favourite) had descended from the ceiling as well as balloons and confetti. "YES! YES! A THOUSAND TIMES YES!" screamed Ed. "I love you so much" said George, "you really have made me the happiest person in the universe". They were about to kiss passionately, like a vegetarian bear kissing a fish, when suddenly ......

JOHN TRAVOLTA APPEARED FROM UNDER THE BED! "Hi guys what did I miss? I was just at my Scientology meeting!" said John in his funny scientologist voice. "JESUS CHRIST JOHN HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN UNDER THE BED?!?!" shouted George. He was furious. He was sure that he had the locks changed after the last time John broke in to his house and scratched the letter o off every household appliance in the mansion (which was very confusing for them since the oven was just the 'ven' but don't worry- Ed kindly drew them back in with sharpie since he is very intelligent and his handwriting is as beautiful as a dragonfly). "Oh don't worry my British friends I have only been here for 3 hours 50 minutes after I accidentally teleported here" John explained. "And don't worry I wasn't eavesdropping on your sexy times since I was too busy watching Tom Cruise draw fanart of his goat and alpaca fursonas doing it, so no, I didn't hear your kinky bacon sex".

Tom Cruise stuck his head out from the bed, then it turned 360 but made no noise. He opened his mouth and began talking in ancient tongues. " Ha Ha, classic Tom!" George, Ed and John said in unison. Then, John and Tom teleported back to their house since it was time to prepare for next weeks peanut butter fun run. George reached out and cupped Ed's face on both sides as he kissed him reverently. 

The screen faded to black and the words "The End" appeared in white cursive script". Nicolas Cage stood in the middle of a theatre and spoke thus "And so my dear wicker man fans, this is the concept for my new blockbuster hit 'Careless Whisper'- I hope you consider it worthy for your Secret 2016 Best Film Ever In The World Award™. I hope that the Scientology references aren't too controversial" Nic took a bow and he knew in his heart that this would be his most successful film since Con Air (1997), the thrilling adventure of a convict (Cameron Poe) on a race against the clock to give his daughter, Casey, the stuffed rabbit he promised her for his birthday, also staring Steve Buscemi. 

The theatre was silent, the panel was in awe of the beauty they had just seen unfurl before their eyes in 4 passionate hours of sex, love and comedy. Shia LaBeouf was the first to rise to give a standing ovation, clapping slowly at first but then much more vigorously jut as he did at the end of the hit song "Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf". Soon the whole audience was roaring with praise, roses were being thrown at him as the red velvet curtain closed on him once and for all..... this was the film that would secure his legacy .... it was art......  
but as he turned away from the stage when the curtains were fully closed..... he ripped off his mask to reveal ..... DAVID MISCAVIGE , born 30th April 1960 - leader of the Church of Scientology. He chuckeled to himself for now everyone would be scientologists due to the chips he implanted in their brain, dormant until awakened by watching the hit blockbuster "Careless Whisper" (2016). It was much like when Plankton makes everyone wear a Chum Bucket helmet in The SpongeBob Movie (2004).

Athene finally had enough of this Scientology bullshit. She could handle John and Tom being converted but not this evil plot to capitalise off of Ed and George's beautiful love. Athene called upon Zeus and all the other gods of Olympos and then ........

They just obliterated the Earth.  
Just exploded it, man.


End file.
